How to Feel Confident When Addressing your Colleagues by Name
Addressing your colleagues by name is an everyday occurrence that many of us take for granted. But if your colleague has a name that you are not familiar with and don’t know how to pronounce, this everyday exchange can be a stressful, nerve-racking ordeal. One of the first things I work on with my clients is learning to pronounce the names of their colleagues.
There are three common questions I get about names:
What is the proper etiquette if you don't know how to pronounce someone's name?
I'm not sure I'm pronouncing this name correctly. What do I do?
I know EXACTLY how to pronounce this name and can say it perfectly when concentrating. But during conversations I keep making mistakes. What's the problem?
I’ll address each of these types of questions and give an example of the day in the life of a client who faced name pronunciation challenges before and after training.
No matter what you or your colleagues’ language backgrounds are, learning to correctly pronounce the names of your colleagues is a common courtesy and a sign of respect. When you don’t know the proper pronunciation of someone’s name when you first meet them, the first step is to wait for them to introduce themselves. If they don’t say their name right away, don’t panic. If there are multiple people in the conversation, you can wait for someone else to say their name so you can hear an example. Another option is to … ask them! Don’t be afraid to ask someone how to pronounce their name. Even if you feel embarrassed that you don’t already know how, your colleague will likely feel respect from you taking the time to get it right.
If you hear the pronunciation of your colleague’s name but can’t quite pronounce it right, it’s time to practice. You can ask a friend or trusted colleague to help you and give you feedback. You can also look online to find pronunciation examples. YouTube will often have clips to help people pronounce unfamiliar names. Some online dictionaries have audio clips as well. This is also a good option if you want to learn the pronunciation of someone’s name ahead of time.
Repetition is key to mastering pronunciation. Record yourself saying the name several times alone and in sentences. Listen to your recording and think critically about how you are pronouncing it, making corrections as necessary. Do this every day and you will be on your way to mastering the pronunciation of anyone’s name within a few days.
Finally, the most challenging cases are those of persistent mispronunciations because of larger patterns. Let me give you an example. I recently had a client, we’ll call him Linh, who had trouble pronouncing the name “Lucas”. He rationally understood exactly how to pronounce the name Lucas and could pronounce it perfectly when concentrating. The problem was this: In his spontaneous conversations, Linh would often drop the /S/ sounds off of words. This is a common topic I work on with Vietnamese speakers. This is because the Vietnamese language does not use the /S/ sound at the ends of words and syllables while English does.
Linh would accidentally say “Luca” when addressing his colleague. While Lucas seemed understanding, Linh felt embarrassed. No matter how hard he tried, he would eventually make a mistake and drop the /S/. It got to the point where Linh would avoid addressing Lucas by his name and would even go so far as to avoid talking to or about Lucas altogether. Linh would approach his morning meetings (where Lucas was present) with dread.
During training we focused on pronouncing word endings, especially /S/ and /Z/. One strategy to help with pronouncing word endings is called linking. Linking is how we connect words when we speak. Although there are spaces between words in written language, we overlap the pronunciation of our words when we talk. One linking rule involves what we do when a word ends in a consonant and the next word begins with a vowel. For example, in the phrase “cross over”, we will carry the /S/ sound in “cross” to begin the next word “over”. So it is pronounced like “cro sover” with no pause between. If you are having trouble with dropping the final consonants in words, practicing this type of word linking can help re-wire your brain to maintain the consonant because it is needed for linking.
In the case of Linh’s pronunciation of “Lucas”, we practiced greetings where the name would be followed by a word beginning with a vowel. Two examples are: “Lucas it’s good to hear from you” and “Lucas are you well?” Linh found it easier to maintain the /S/ in “Lucas” because it was needed to link to the vowel in the following word. In linking, the words, Linh pronounced the name correctly. Linh practiced these greetings over the course of a couple of weeks, recording himself and making corrections. He also worked these greetings into his conversations with Lucas.
After training, Linh mastered his colleague’s name and no longer dreaded his morning meetings. He felt more confident about his speech and felt that his professional relationships with Lucas and others improved.
When you don't know how to pronounce someone's name, don't feel embarrassed. Take action! With persistent, targeted practice, you can tackle any pronunciation problem.
One of the reasons hiring a speech coach can be so beneficial is because it can be difficult to hear patterns in your own speech. I love helping clients like Linh improve their communication skills, develop confidence in their own voice, and achieve their professional goals.
If you would like to learn more about how you can improve your speech and develop a more confident voice, you can sign up for a speech assessment here.